The making of a gift.

A dear friend of mine recently married. I made them a card and it ended up to be an incredibly healing activity.

Some time ago, I decided that buying cards was silly since I could make them. I should add, I haven’t yet tapped into my creative potential and struggle with arts and crafts projects. But I decided making cards was a good way for me to be creative, while still having a purpose to keep me focused. My first cards were awful. Sometimes I’d laugh as I sent them because they were ridiculously childish, but handmade and made with love.

 

The fun part about making cards for people is the opportunity to truly make them unique and special for the recipient. For this particular wedding, I knew the couple, I knew some of the themes of the wedding and I felt inspired. As I made the card, I worked in silence and was able to reflect on their relationship and the stories I’d heard when they first met, started dating, got engaged and most recently, wedding planning and moving in together. I was able to think about my emotions and question any insights that arose. I worked and I thought and I worked some more. In the end, it was by far the best card I’ve ever made. It was pretty and legitimate looking. The whole card fit together and made sense. I was able to find fun materials that were representative of my friend, and used colors that were part of the wedding. It meant something to me. I’m not sure if it meant anything to them, if they even know it was handmade or if they thought it was well-made. None of that matters. I was proud to write in that card. I loved taking the time to reflect and write words that were meaningful to me. And most of all, I enjoyed taking the time to make something for a friend. I think the world needs a little more of that.

I will not suffer; it’s a choice, you know.

I came across an article in Shambala Sun today titled, “Suffering is Optional.” I, like most, glance at the heading and smirk to myself. At first glance, it’s ridiculous. On second glance, it’s true. At third glance, that one phrase is a reminder that has the potential to shift much of our Earthly experience, if only we allow it.

In times of pain – physically, mental or emotional – our first instinct is to dwell on that pain. But we dwell in a way that suggests that pain is a bad thing, or must go away as quickly as possible. We often become frustrated or attempt to ignore the problem. Mindfulness has another proposition. It is possible to sit with the pain, to truly feel the pain and to look to understand the pain a bit more. In my paradigm, it’s about breathing and allowing oneself to feel. In other paradigms, it’s about being aware and seeing the pain that is reality rather than looking outside of reality to escape the pain. It’s all the same.

 Now, I understand this may make sense to some and may seem crazy to others so I will give a practical example. Today, while packing boxes in preparing of moving, I slammed my ankle bone into a door frame. My old reaction would have been to hop or limp erratically and unconsciously hold my breath waiting for the pain to subside. It’s possible I would have complained as well, just so others would hear and give me a little sympathy. With a mindfulness practice; however, the approach happened a bit differently. I hit the ankle and upon realizing the pain, I stopped right where I was, breathed slowly and focused all my attention on my ankle. Where attention goes, energy or prana will follow. So I sent breath to the site of the pain. I felt the pain, I questioned the pain, I figured out exactly where in my body the pain was coming from. I wondered if there was pain anywhere else. I examined the skin to look for any sign of the impact. And while I was breathing and considering – which maybe occurred over the course of 10 seconds – I realized the pain really wasn’t that bad and was gone pretty instantly. It’s not to say that paying attention will make the pain go away. It’s quite the opposite actually. I’ve learned this lesson time and time again in my yoga practice. The more focused I am on the sensations, the stronger they can be. Not always, but sometimes, with the increased awareness comes increased sensations. However, learning to allow oneself to truly feel is a powerful lesson that can reverberate throughout life. Learning to feel the full range of emotions, the full range of pain and the full range of pleasure can have profound effects.

Just like everyone else, I’m still working on this. I have found that it’s easier for me to be aware of and truly feel physical pain. Emotions and pleasure are a bit more challenging. Maybe others have a different experience.

Pain will never go away, but we can choose to not let it make us suffer.

Today, I challenge you to attempt to feel in times of pain and suffering. If you feel inspired, comment and let me and others know how it went. This is no easy task, but even thinking about it from time to time can help. 

May you choose the path of less suffering today.

Namaste.

5 Unexpected Factors to Consider when Working from Home

When I decided to begin freelancing full-time earlier this year, I thought it'd be much like being in an office environment without having to drive anywhere. Now that I'm six months in, I'm beginning to see that I failed to consider several factors. Not that these will deter me from working from home, or having a home-based business, but I thought I'd take a minute to share these observations with you.

1) Toilet Paper:
     It used to take us weeks, if not months, to go through a 4-pack of recycled toilet paper. Now I feel like we need a new 4-pack every other week. When you go to an office, you spend much of the day there and use their restrooms more than the ones at home, especially if you work long days. Now that I use my own restroom and toilet paper, it's flying off of the roll. Next year I may have to budget toilet paper as a business expense!

2) Mealtimes:
    There is nothing better than being able to prepare fresh meals for lunch or being able to decide what I'm hungry for at that time rather than in the morning. When I worked in an office, nearly every day I grimaced and wasn't interested in the lunch I had. Now I can cook something, or eat leftovers, or have a hodge-podge lunch - I get to decide what I'm hungry for and that has also helped me snack less. I often get up and go to the fridge but end up empty-handed. I eat less now, even though I'm at home with food at my disposal. I also have less mid-afternoon candy machine opportunities. My snack options are what we have - which helps me not buy snacks, because I know I will eat it all.

3) House Errands:
    I don't like to clean, so don't really do it much, but other errands get done so much easier now. Laundry, for example, is done routinely on Thursdays. I don't have to fight people for the machines, no one is around to take my stuff out prematurely and I don't have to waste an evening at home doing it. Laundry went from being a chore to being just a part of the day (and it provides built-in breaks for me to get away from the computer for a bit.

4) Miscellaneous Errands:
   I remember the days of running out over lunch to get as much little stuff done as possible, or having to do it on the weekends when stores were packed. Getting to places like the bank, post office and grocery store is so much easier when you can get up and go at any time of the day. I have no one to check in with, or report to, or ask if I can leave early. The freedom is well worth it, but that leads to point #5.

5) Accountability:
    Working from home is not for everyone. That was clear very early on. I have a dedicated office, a workspace and it was carefully designed to be comfortable and include all the things I would need to do my work. It's much like a cubicle where I get up to get water, go to the bathroom, fix lunch, run an errand, etc., but otherwise I'm on my stability ball with music playing through my Iphone, incense and candles burning in the corner, photos on my desk, a window to glance out of when I have writer's block and my yoga supplies when I need an impromptu restorative pose to revitalize myself. The problem, however, lies in staying focused. There is no one keeping tabs on my progress, no one giving me deadlines for the stuff I don't want to do (I have plenty of editor deadlines, but that's different) and no one to know if I decide to take a nap in the middle of the day. The best thing about working at home is also the most challenging. It's all on me. My success is on me and my failures are a direct result of me. Some people can do it, some can't - I really struggled at first, but I had to figure out what works for me, how to organize my time and how to stay productive. Some days are great, others not so great.

So what's the point? On a small scale, some of you may relate to working from home, or having these challenges. On a larger scale, this applies to all parts of life. We think we know what we're getting ourselves into, we might weigh all the pros and cons and consider every angle, but once a decision is made and we move forward, we realize we didn't take into account the extra toilet paper.

What have you not considered today or recently?