When art isn't just about representing imagination.

The other night, my husband and I met at a coffee shop. He rode his bike there after work to meet me. I was there doing work I didn't get done during the day. He asked if I'd bring his sketchpad.

That sketchpad has been around and seen its fair share of coffee shops and park benches.

While I was thinking about a blog topic, he opened the sketch pad. I, without so much of a warning, blurted out, "Why do you like drawing?" He laughed - that was a big question. Slowly, the answer emerged and I took notes, because it has a great tie-in to the themes of this blog.

For many of us, education and cultural value gives priority to science and math. The sciences are seemingly more important, and if you are good at them, you often get pigeon-holed into that category. The artsy students hang out in the art studios, the rest of us are science, math and language whizzes. They were separate. There is no art in the sciences. There is no science in art. But they don't have to be separate - imagine what innovation and creativity comes when they work together.

The reason my wonderfully talented, intelligent and compassionate husband likes art is more subtle and deep than just the joy of creating something beautiful. It's more of a spiritual practice, although he wouldn't necessarily call it that. He uses art, primarily drawing - and almost always black or gray - as a way to develop the skill of "seeing" things and getting past the conceptual brain. Rather than looking at a tree and saying, "Oh that's an ash," you can learn to see the shape and the lighting and the colors and the form and the patterns and how it fits into the larger context of life. For him, it's being able to get closer to objective truth of seeing what is really there rather than just the label of what we think is there. An ash isn't just an ash. An ash is a lively form that sways erratically, yet rhythmically in the wind, with various shades of green and patterns of light and dark. It has movement, it has a whole world going on under its bark and in its roots - all hidden from us and not usually considered. There are probably birds and insects and other varmints running around and we don't often stop to think about or see them.

When drawing, you can't really just draw the concept of a tree. Well, you can, but then it just looks like an elementary Christmas tree of trunk with a round top (this, for reference, is how I draw). But this doesn't capture the essence of that tree. It's a generic representation of something. Truly SEEING the tree opens up all sorts of new ideas and allows you to practice seeing other things in life. Nothing is what we think it is from a first glance. There is always so much more depth and context and interconnectedness to explore and discover. Learning to see something enough to draw it (he usually draws trees) helps you learn to apply this principle throughout life. Much like meditation allows us to practice discernment of thoughts and not getting caught up in them, drawing helps practice awareness and seeing.

The beauty of drawing is that it isn't about the outcome. Few people see the drawings, and most of them sit silently in sketchbooks. It's not about them. They are just tools. They help the drawer to get past the labels and to explore a different way of looking at the world. They provide the training to help uncover the subtle beauty of life. They help him express himself better. I think they, and he, are beautiful and capture the essence of each other.

The making of a mudpie.

No, I'm not talking about the dessert. This is not a how-to or making mudpies.  It's about kids. And spending time outside.  I remember growing up in small-town central Minnesota. I remember sitting on the edge of the cement from my parents' welding shop. I would make mudpies. I remember walking through the shop, and everywhere for that matter, with bare feet (this is where my husband says, "you don't have bear feet, you have human feet"). Anyway, we were outside all the time and I think I am telling a story many are familiar with, especially if you grew up in rural areas.

Fastforward to nowadays, we actually have a term to describe children's lack of access to nature. Richard Louv, in his book, Last Child of the Woods, discussed this phenomenon and coined the term "Nature Deficit Disorder." I admit, it sounds a little silly, like a made-up disease or something, but if you look around, it doesn't seem so strange, especially in urban areas. My patio overlooks a parking lot and large intersection. I work in my home office - some days I don't leave the house (sad, I know). When I do leave, I'm often running errands, driving, parking, shopping - all manmade. Some days I feel like I have nature deficit disorder and I love nature. I did my master's thesis on the effects of spending time in nature - it's kind of a big deal to me. My husband is a tree guy, he works in plant/tree health care and loves insects. I like weeds and using plants for medicinal purposes. Between the two of us, there is a lot of talk about natural things, but it still often feels just out of reach. I dream of living quietly in the moutains, with a babbling brook running through, wildlife, peace and serenity.

Sometimes I wonder if I yearn for this quiet simplicity because I grew up that way, or becuase it's something deeper. I wonder if people who grew up in urban areas have a simliar sense, or if it's too outside of their experience to even know if they want it. And then there are the kids, who are young and impressionable. Parents have the opporunity to teach about the environment, to send their kids outside to play, to teach them outdoor activities or to send them to camp. Research has shown (time and time again) that spending time in unstructured play outdoors leads to less depression, increased creativity, better problem solving skills, better behaviors in school, etc.

Time for a shameless plug...I am working with an organization called Sajai Foundation, based in Minnesota. Sajai's mission is to teach kids about healthy living (fighting obesity), exercise and connecting with nature (fighting nature deficit disorder). They have an event on September 29, 2012, at North Mississippi Regional Park. It's called the Amazing Walk and rather than being a race, it's a family-friendly event with challenge stations to teach kids about exercise and nature. Find out more here!

Have the standards of beauty shifted again?

In Marilyn Monroe's day, curvy was beautiful.
In the 70's, there was a shift. Twiggy and other stick-thin models were beautiful.
Through the 80's and 90's, thin was still beautiful. Models and actresses because the 'ideal' while the rest of the population struggled with body image issues. Dieting, anorexia, bulemia and depression were the sign of these times.
In the early 2000's, people started stepping up to address the issue. Grassroots organizations, with the assistance of the internet, began pushing out materials to speak to the issue. I'm not sure I know anyone who is totally happy with their body, especially the feminine folk. The theme of the 2000's seemed to be healthy is beautiful.

While these are clearly gross generalizations about a nation, they are designed to show how the standards of beauty change with the decades. It's kind of like what color is in. I don't follow fashion, but I'm always hearing that something is the new black. Whatever it is may not last long, but for the time, that's what's popular.

Today, 2012, I believe we may have another shift on our hands. I've been experiencing it for myself in the last year or so, but hadn't realized it or put words to it. But it appeared to me randomly in a news story during the London Olympics. In some sort of article that I didn't read, the headline mentioned this:

Strong is the new beautiful (I think it actually said pretty, but I don't like that word).

Imagine that...strong. Strength, muscular. I often hear women are afraid of looking bulky like men. I have never felt that way. I love the look of a muscular body - plus, women generally can't even get bulky, it's a common misconception about lifting weights. You need testosterone to get bulky, and in much higher doses than women's bodies typically contain. Some women get big, don't get me wrong, but that's not the majority.

As a yogi, I see plenty of strong women (and men)- physically, mentally and emotionally. They are not stick-thin, they are not frail looking, they are not weak; they are strong, powerful, confident and focused. They gain strength through persistance and practice. They cover all age spectrums and abilities.

They are strong.
They are beautiful.

The standards of beauty may not be changing, but with this Olympics, I have seen more coverage speaking to the women athletes being motivators and inspirations to people all over the country (and world). It may not be a national shift, but it's a personal shift for me. Strong is the new beautiful.

The toughest decision I had to make today....

..was what to order at the coffee shop.

As I later thought about this, it was because I don't come to coffee shops much anymore and I wanted to make a good decision. Iced, hot, flavored, not flavored, chai.....regular milk, soy, breve....caffeine, no caffeine, frozen...So many options.  Then I thought, it's just coffee. Just pick something already. I chose a hot chai tea latte made with half-and-half.

So am I happy about my decision?  Sure. It's nothing special - it's a chai. But I'm sure I would've received any other options with similar neutrality. Who knows and why am I even spending the time to think about it?

I think it comes down to the amount of options we have at our fingertips and how, quite frankly, it's often paralyzing. I remember speaking with a client once about his organization, which helps young adults transition to adulthood.  He said many of these young people are simply overwhelmed with their options. Gone are the days of taking over the family business, women staying home to raise the kids, or people staying in jobs for their entire working career. There is simply an endless opportunity of what people can do, and that doesn't necessarily mean a J-O-B. I choose to go outside of this mold and create my own livelihood - many others before me have done the same.

So how do we deal with all these options (from coffee to jobs and everything in between) that are infiltrating us daily? We learn to give up control from time to time and let others choose for us.

Now you must think I'm crazy. If it makes you feel any better, I think I'm crazy too. I was offered this idea by my husband. For as long as I can remember, we sometimes order each others' meals when we go out to eat. Wait staff are always confused and people we are with usually think it's nuts. The idea is two-fold: it gets us out of our comfort zones and forces us to try something we may not have chosen for ourselves and it allows us to give up control for just a moment, and that lessens the stress of making the "right" decision. A couple weeks ago, my husband sent me this TED talk video, which elegantly describes this very idea. The speaker discusses the paradox that counter to what we often think, people are happier with less choices.

I think this may describe why I am awful at parking in big parking lots - I get overwhelmed with the choices and figuring out which one is better. It's just a parking spot. It's just coffee. It's just food. I wonder how much time and energy and unnecessary burden we put on ourselves through these small decisions?

Today, I vow to not get stressed out over my coffee choice. Or my parking spot. I vow to practice giving up the driver's seat from time to time (even though it makes me a little anxious).

What choices do you struggle with? I'm interested in hearing.