Sweating in the night? Holistic solutions for night sweats

By request, this week we're talking about menopause-related night sweats. The request I had was this:

Q: I don't want to take pills or do hormone stuff but I can't sleep, I toss and turn and wake up sweating. What can I try?

I did some digging and this is what I found.




Lifestyle Changes
1) Avoid stimulants. That's anything with caffeine, such as sodas, coffee (ahem) or teas. But stimulants can also be white sugar, alcohol and acidic foods such as pickles and tomatoes.
2) Avoid hot foods. This may seem intuitive, but avoid eating or drinking hot foods in the hours before bed (or if you have daytime hot flashes, avoid hot stuff all the time). Also beware of anything spicy.
3) Related to #2, avoid hot stuff. I'm talking about intense exercise, hot showers or baths, romps with your loved one, stress and unresolved anger. We forget that emotions have a great effect on our bodies and minds, so any heated emotions (anger, lust, greed, fear, etc) can heat the body from the inside out, making it hard to cool down. You could also try keeping your home at a lower temperature (I even have night sweats in that house!)
4) Move. Exercise is great for the body, especially to ensure fluids are moving about the body. While exercise is good, be careful of too much sweating, as this could increase your core temperature. Play around with how exercise helps or hinders your night sweats. You could try exercising in the morning rather than evening, or toning it down a bit.
5) Chill out! (Pun intended). Many believe night sweats to be a byproduct of stress. I would probably include this in any article, but taking time each day to meditate, do mindful yoga, deep breathing, guided imagery or other mind-pacifying activities could help learn to control stress and keep an even keel. Even if you don't think you're stressed, you most likely are. It's the culture we live in.
6) Add flax to your diet. One study found 40 grams per day to be the recommended serving size. The study had successful results. I recommend buying the whole seeds and a small coffee grinder and grind the seeds. However, this isn't practical for many so buying a pure oil extract or pre-ground flax seeds are good options too. Any natural health store would have flax seeds. I know what you're going to ask: What do I do with it? Flax seeds are tasteless (I think) so sprinkle some over oatmeal, into shakes, or you could do whole seeds on salads. You can really put it on anything.

Herbal or Natural Remedies:
1) Black cohash. I have seen this mentioned in many places and apparently, clinical trials have found it to be helpful in treatment hot flashes, night sweats and symptoms that accompany menopause.
2) Acupuncture. I believe acupuncture is good for just about everything. It won't hurt you, so it's worth a shot.
3) Sage. I knew of the cleansing power of sage, but never heard of it for menopausal symptoms. It appeared in several places and one anecodatal piece said sage was all the woman  needed and it only took a week for her to feel better. She took a capsule once daily. Again, a health food store would carry this.
4) Vitamin E. Studies recommend between 50 and 500 IU taken daily (one study had good results off of 400 IU). You can find capsules at probably any pharmacy or health store since Vitamin E is a common vitamin. Studies found Vitamin E to be helpful against hot flashes.
5) Apple cider vinegar. Seriously what doesn't this stuff do! Go to your health food store again to get this stuff, rather than the typical supermarket stuff. You want organic and make sure it's unfiltered or unprocessed. It will probably be cloudy in the jar - don't worry, that's normal. It looks like 2 tablespoons in the morning and at night are the recommended dosage. Again, this stuff won't hurt you (unless you're allergic to apple or can't handle fermented stuff) so try it and see. You will probably not like the taste, so you can "chase" it with food or drink lots of water to dilute it.

There you have it. Six lifestyle things to consider and five different natural options, one requiring a practitioner and four simple supplements/vitamins to add to your daily routine.  This is a new topic for me so I'm interested in hearing what has worked for others. Do not feel shame about your night sweats, let's talk about it!

Natural vs. Lifestyle Changes

Today I was writing a story on sleep apnea and was looking for some "holistic" treatment options. I learned an important lesson here. The term holisstic is a fuzzy word. Yes, I knew this, but sometimes I think I have a narrow view of what fits there. What I discovered was that there are very few holistic therapies for sleep apnea. But I was very wrong. Once I thought about it more, most of the treatment options are holsitic in nature; I was just seeing them as traditional, and thus, not holistic.

Let me explain. One treatment option is to learn how to sleep on your side. This helps with the collapsing or obstruction in the airways. Since this is a normal intervention, mentioned by hospitals, physicians and associations with a more biomedical focus, in my mind, it wasn't holistic. Oh but it is! An alternative that isn't harmful and isn't ignoring the problem - this is one of the definitions of holistic interventions!

What I think ended up being most important in this process for me was remembering how wide the holistic net is, and how differently it is interpreted by different people. There are quite a few options for sleep apnea, and most importantly, many of them are lifestyle changes, which are holistic in nature. Rather than being in the holistic camp and scoffing at mainstream medicine (I'm working on that), I am beginning to see the interconnectedness. This is true integrative medicine. It's a beautiful thing, you know, the best of modern medicine when it's really needed and choices when it's not.

This or That? How about both.

During this year's election battle (thank goodness for not having a TV!), I began to think about the dualistic culture we live in. We think we must choose between good and evil, black or white, republican or democrat, gay or straight, yes or no - the list goes on. We all know the phrase that it's not always black or white. In my world, there is no black or white - there are different shades, and different ways of looking at it.

We all have choices, don't forget that, but we also usually have more choices available to us than we think we have.  For example, don't like Romney but don't really like Obama either? Vote green party or liberatarian. Research other options. You also have a choice to not vote (I know, I just said that). I get the impression that culturally, we think there are two candidates and we have to choose. Who is the better of the two evils? But this is dualistic thinking - feeling like there are only two sides to a coin.

Let's make this more about daily life. Soon we'll head downstairs for lunch. This is what will probably happen. I'll open the fridge and say we have leftover cheese soup or wild rice casserole. The fridge is pretty bare. But that's seeing only two options. That is no where near the whole story! I'm missing out on potentially awesome ideas just by thinking in a linear dualistic way. I'll realize this and say, or you could have minestrone soup, or hot coco, or raw veggies or rice and veggies, or pancakes or oatmeal or apples and peanut butter. All of a sudden, the world seems more joyful, more pleasant, more available to me.

Now, I also have to add that psychologically, too many choices are bad for us. We get paralyzed and can't choose. So be careful of the options, but don't limit yourselves.

Sometimes we practice this idea by just naming crazy things. So I'll say, what would you like to do tonight. Then we'll rattle off a list: play a game, clean the house, watch a movie, go to a movie, go to a bar, make coffee, have a drawing contest.....when we run out of "mainstream" ideas, we'll get more silly. Erik will often say something like we could go rob a bank, or take a walk naked, or chop down a tree or go rock climbing, or take a vacation. All just ridiculous, but yet realistically, we could do these things. It helps tap the creativity and promote thinking outside of the box. I also find that it makes us laugh and promotes a sense of unity and playfulness.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

The New Kid in Class

Luckily, throughout my life, I haven't been "the new kid" all that often. As an adult, however, I find that being the new kid is becoming more common. It's funny how sometimes I think about NOT doing things because of the uncertainty (where to park, what to bring, what to wear, etc.). I've noticed that pattern and worked to get past those barriers. I think my introverted nature makes these new situations more scary because it seems like everyone else is always chummy and social, leaving me to my lonesome. This is a hard one to overcome, but noticing it is helpful.

One place I felt very secure before moving was at the yoga studio. I knew all the staff and teachers and many of the fellow students. I usually knew at least 2 people walking around. They knew me. I knew where stuff was, how to set up in the space and to some extent, how the class was going to go. No stress. No uncertainty. Awesome.

Earlier this week, I set out for my first visit to a new studio. I was resistant. I know the protocol of studios, so there was some consistency, like going early to pay and get the run-down. I was the first one there and, like many studios, although the person at the desk knew I was new, I didn't get much by way of assistance.  I stepped into the space and immediately knew I'd have to ask some questions. Which way do I face? How do you set up mats? Do you use props? Where is the bathroom? Oh, the stress of being new!

I've now been there twice and feel better about it. Everyone is really nice and helpful when I ask quesitons and it's been a good practice for me to speak up and ask for what I need. Most of us could probably benefit from more of this.

Until next time, have you done anything recently that was outside your comfort zone or have you been the new kid in class?

I could’ve sworn it was there!

We’ve all had times when we thought we saw something only to find out it was something completely different. The movies over the years have showed us countless examples of people lost or stuck in the desert thinking they see water, but once they approach the edge, it’s really not water after all. Whenever we drive to the cabin, once nightfall approaches, every mailbox looks like a deer on the side of the road.   

Thinking back, I have countless examples of seeing something, making a lightning-quick assessment of it, labeling it as something and then realizing my assessment was far off the mark. I’ve never really thought about this phenomenon before, but as I was gazing out the window, a stone trash reciptical  looked like it had a vine growing on it. As I was trying to figure out where the vine came from, if it grew up from a crack in the sidewalk or whether it was potted inside the vessel and flowing over the edge, I realized there was no vine; it was just a stone trash can. But my mind was able to create a whole story and assessment based on something I thought I saw. It was all a figment of my imagination.

How powerful this is to consider how much impact these figments have on our lives. We think someone is doing something for one reason or another, we feel attacked by someone’s words, we hear someone say our name, or we let our minds run crazy with stories that have nothing to do with anything. We wrongly accuse people for things we think we saw them do or not do. We end relationships and cause family rifts because of something we think we saw or heard. I could go on and on.

The point is, what impact do figments of our imaginations have on life? Are they harmful? Are they imaginative, creative and helpful? Or are they neutral and not matter at all?

I don’t know the answers. I just know that paying attention, learning to see things before judging them or assessing them and always being curious, we can learn to see when these figments occur and act accordingly (whatever that means).

Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop

There is just something about coffee shops. I can’t explain it. I don’t even have a desire to explain it. I just love the feel of them. The smell. The people. The music. The environment. The culture. Coffee shops are unique – and not all have that same feeling. As I sit here gazing out the window, buses, cars and people are strolling by as if they are in some outside world. Inside the coffee shop, it’s like the world stands still. Only this coffee shop exists – just me and my computer and my tea. Tonight I’m drinking tea. I’m writing. Time, place and circumstance aren’t relevant. They have no place here. When I’m here, nothing is relevant. Nothing matters, nothing stays the same, everything must change. The doors will close and I will go home, richer because of it.

Sounds a bit like meditation, doesn’t it.

Isn’t that interesting.

The making of a gift.

A dear friend of mine recently married. I made them a card and it ended up to be an incredibly healing activity.

Some time ago, I decided that buying cards was silly since I could make them. I should add, I haven’t yet tapped into my creative potential and struggle with arts and crafts projects. But I decided making cards was a good way for me to be creative, while still having a purpose to keep me focused. My first cards were awful. Sometimes I’d laugh as I sent them because they were ridiculously childish, but handmade and made with love.

 

The fun part about making cards for people is the opportunity to truly make them unique and special for the recipient. For this particular wedding, I knew the couple, I knew some of the themes of the wedding and I felt inspired. As I made the card, I worked in silence and was able to reflect on their relationship and the stories I’d heard when they first met, started dating, got engaged and most recently, wedding planning and moving in together. I was able to think about my emotions and question any insights that arose. I worked and I thought and I worked some more. In the end, it was by far the best card I’ve ever made. It was pretty and legitimate looking. The whole card fit together and made sense. I was able to find fun materials that were representative of my friend, and used colors that were part of the wedding. It meant something to me. I’m not sure if it meant anything to them, if they even know it was handmade or if they thought it was well-made. None of that matters. I was proud to write in that card. I loved taking the time to reflect and write words that were meaningful to me. And most of all, I enjoyed taking the time to make something for a friend. I think the world needs a little more of that.

I will not suffer; it’s a choice, you know.

I came across an article in Shambala Sun today titled, “Suffering is Optional.” I, like most, glance at the heading and smirk to myself. At first glance, it’s ridiculous. On second glance, it’s true. At third glance, that one phrase is a reminder that has the potential to shift much of our Earthly experience, if only we allow it.

In times of pain – physically, mental or emotional – our first instinct is to dwell on that pain. But we dwell in a way that suggests that pain is a bad thing, or must go away as quickly as possible. We often become frustrated or attempt to ignore the problem. Mindfulness has another proposition. It is possible to sit with the pain, to truly feel the pain and to look to understand the pain a bit more. In my paradigm, it’s about breathing and allowing oneself to feel. In other paradigms, it’s about being aware and seeing the pain that is reality rather than looking outside of reality to escape the pain. It’s all the same.

 Now, I understand this may make sense to some and may seem crazy to others so I will give a practical example. Today, while packing boxes in preparing of moving, I slammed my ankle bone into a door frame. My old reaction would have been to hop or limp erratically and unconsciously hold my breath waiting for the pain to subside. It’s possible I would have complained as well, just so others would hear and give me a little sympathy. With a mindfulness practice; however, the approach happened a bit differently. I hit the ankle and upon realizing the pain, I stopped right where I was, breathed slowly and focused all my attention on my ankle. Where attention goes, energy or prana will follow. So I sent breath to the site of the pain. I felt the pain, I questioned the pain, I figured out exactly where in my body the pain was coming from. I wondered if there was pain anywhere else. I examined the skin to look for any sign of the impact. And while I was breathing and considering – which maybe occurred over the course of 10 seconds – I realized the pain really wasn’t that bad and was gone pretty instantly. It’s not to say that paying attention will make the pain go away. It’s quite the opposite actually. I’ve learned this lesson time and time again in my yoga practice. The more focused I am on the sensations, the stronger they can be. Not always, but sometimes, with the increased awareness comes increased sensations. However, learning to allow oneself to truly feel is a powerful lesson that can reverberate throughout life. Learning to feel the full range of emotions, the full range of pain and the full range of pleasure can have profound effects.

Just like everyone else, I’m still working on this. I have found that it’s easier for me to be aware of and truly feel physical pain. Emotions and pleasure are a bit more challenging. Maybe others have a different experience.

Pain will never go away, but we can choose to not let it make us suffer.

Today, I challenge you to attempt to feel in times of pain and suffering. If you feel inspired, comment and let me and others know how it went. This is no easy task, but even thinking about it from time to time can help. 

May you choose the path of less suffering today.

Namaste.

5 Unexpected Factors to Consider when Working from Home

When I decided to begin freelancing full-time earlier this year, I thought it'd be much like being in an office environment without having to drive anywhere. Now that I'm six months in, I'm beginning to see that I failed to consider several factors. Not that these will deter me from working from home, or having a home-based business, but I thought I'd take a minute to share these observations with you.

1) Toilet Paper:
     It used to take us weeks, if not months, to go through a 4-pack of recycled toilet paper. Now I feel like we need a new 4-pack every other week. When you go to an office, you spend much of the day there and use their restrooms more than the ones at home, especially if you work long days. Now that I use my own restroom and toilet paper, it's flying off of the roll. Next year I may have to budget toilet paper as a business expense!

2) Mealtimes:
    There is nothing better than being able to prepare fresh meals for lunch or being able to decide what I'm hungry for at that time rather than in the morning. When I worked in an office, nearly every day I grimaced and wasn't interested in the lunch I had. Now I can cook something, or eat leftovers, or have a hodge-podge lunch - I get to decide what I'm hungry for and that has also helped me snack less. I often get up and go to the fridge but end up empty-handed. I eat less now, even though I'm at home with food at my disposal. I also have less mid-afternoon candy machine opportunities. My snack options are what we have - which helps me not buy snacks, because I know I will eat it all.

3) House Errands:
    I don't like to clean, so don't really do it much, but other errands get done so much easier now. Laundry, for example, is done routinely on Thursdays. I don't have to fight people for the machines, no one is around to take my stuff out prematurely and I don't have to waste an evening at home doing it. Laundry went from being a chore to being just a part of the day (and it provides built-in breaks for me to get away from the computer for a bit.

4) Miscellaneous Errands:
   I remember the days of running out over lunch to get as much little stuff done as possible, or having to do it on the weekends when stores were packed. Getting to places like the bank, post office and grocery store is so much easier when you can get up and go at any time of the day. I have no one to check in with, or report to, or ask if I can leave early. The freedom is well worth it, but that leads to point #5.

5) Accountability:
    Working from home is not for everyone. That was clear very early on. I have a dedicated office, a workspace and it was carefully designed to be comfortable and include all the things I would need to do my work. It's much like a cubicle where I get up to get water, go to the bathroom, fix lunch, run an errand, etc., but otherwise I'm on my stability ball with music playing through my Iphone, incense and candles burning in the corner, photos on my desk, a window to glance out of when I have writer's block and my yoga supplies when I need an impromptu restorative pose to revitalize myself. The problem, however, lies in staying focused. There is no one keeping tabs on my progress, no one giving me deadlines for the stuff I don't want to do (I have plenty of editor deadlines, but that's different) and no one to know if I decide to take a nap in the middle of the day. The best thing about working at home is also the most challenging. It's all on me. My success is on me and my failures are a direct result of me. Some people can do it, some can't - I really struggled at first, but I had to figure out what works for me, how to organize my time and how to stay productive. Some days are great, others not so great.

So what's the point? On a small scale, some of you may relate to working from home, or having these challenges. On a larger scale, this applies to all parts of life. We think we know what we're getting ourselves into, we might weigh all the pros and cons and consider every angle, but once a decision is made and we move forward, we realize we didn't take into account the extra toilet paper.

What have you not considered today or recently?

When art isn't just about representing imagination.

The other night, my husband and I met at a coffee shop. He rode his bike there after work to meet me. I was there doing work I didn't get done during the day. He asked if I'd bring his sketchpad.

That sketchpad has been around and seen its fair share of coffee shops and park benches.

While I was thinking about a blog topic, he opened the sketch pad. I, without so much of a warning, blurted out, "Why do you like drawing?" He laughed - that was a big question. Slowly, the answer emerged and I took notes, because it has a great tie-in to the themes of this blog.

For many of us, education and cultural value gives priority to science and math. The sciences are seemingly more important, and if you are good at them, you often get pigeon-holed into that category. The artsy students hang out in the art studios, the rest of us are science, math and language whizzes. They were separate. There is no art in the sciences. There is no science in art. But they don't have to be separate - imagine what innovation and creativity comes when they work together.

The reason my wonderfully talented, intelligent and compassionate husband likes art is more subtle and deep than just the joy of creating something beautiful. It's more of a spiritual practice, although he wouldn't necessarily call it that. He uses art, primarily drawing - and almost always black or gray - as a way to develop the skill of "seeing" things and getting past the conceptual brain. Rather than looking at a tree and saying, "Oh that's an ash," you can learn to see the shape and the lighting and the colors and the form and the patterns and how it fits into the larger context of life. For him, it's being able to get closer to objective truth of seeing what is really there rather than just the label of what we think is there. An ash isn't just an ash. An ash is a lively form that sways erratically, yet rhythmically in the wind, with various shades of green and patterns of light and dark. It has movement, it has a whole world going on under its bark and in its roots - all hidden from us and not usually considered. There are probably birds and insects and other varmints running around and we don't often stop to think about or see them.

When drawing, you can't really just draw the concept of a tree. Well, you can, but then it just looks like an elementary Christmas tree of trunk with a round top (this, for reference, is how I draw). But this doesn't capture the essence of that tree. It's a generic representation of something. Truly SEEING the tree opens up all sorts of new ideas and allows you to practice seeing other things in life. Nothing is what we think it is from a first glance. There is always so much more depth and context and interconnectedness to explore and discover. Learning to see something enough to draw it (he usually draws trees) helps you learn to apply this principle throughout life. Much like meditation allows us to practice discernment of thoughts and not getting caught up in them, drawing helps practice awareness and seeing.

The beauty of drawing is that it isn't about the outcome. Few people see the drawings, and most of them sit silently in sketchbooks. It's not about them. They are just tools. They help the drawer to get past the labels and to explore a different way of looking at the world. They provide the training to help uncover the subtle beauty of life. They help him express himself better. I think they, and he, are beautiful and capture the essence of each other.

The making of a mudpie.

No, I'm not talking about the dessert. This is not a how-to or making mudpies.  It's about kids. And spending time outside.  I remember growing up in small-town central Minnesota. I remember sitting on the edge of the cement from my parents' welding shop. I would make mudpies. I remember walking through the shop, and everywhere for that matter, with bare feet (this is where my husband says, "you don't have bear feet, you have human feet"). Anyway, we were outside all the time and I think I am telling a story many are familiar with, especially if you grew up in rural areas.

Fastforward to nowadays, we actually have a term to describe children's lack of access to nature. Richard Louv, in his book, Last Child of the Woods, discussed this phenomenon and coined the term "Nature Deficit Disorder." I admit, it sounds a little silly, like a made-up disease or something, but if you look around, it doesn't seem so strange, especially in urban areas. My patio overlooks a parking lot and large intersection. I work in my home office - some days I don't leave the house (sad, I know). When I do leave, I'm often running errands, driving, parking, shopping - all manmade. Some days I feel like I have nature deficit disorder and I love nature. I did my master's thesis on the effects of spending time in nature - it's kind of a big deal to me. My husband is a tree guy, he works in plant/tree health care and loves insects. I like weeds and using plants for medicinal purposes. Between the two of us, there is a lot of talk about natural things, but it still often feels just out of reach. I dream of living quietly in the moutains, with a babbling brook running through, wildlife, peace and serenity.

Sometimes I wonder if I yearn for this quiet simplicity because I grew up that way, or becuase it's something deeper. I wonder if people who grew up in urban areas have a simliar sense, or if it's too outside of their experience to even know if they want it. And then there are the kids, who are young and impressionable. Parents have the opporunity to teach about the environment, to send their kids outside to play, to teach them outdoor activities or to send them to camp. Research has shown (time and time again) that spending time in unstructured play outdoors leads to less depression, increased creativity, better problem solving skills, better behaviors in school, etc.

Time for a shameless plug...I am working with an organization called Sajai Foundation, based in Minnesota. Sajai's mission is to teach kids about healthy living (fighting obesity), exercise and connecting with nature (fighting nature deficit disorder). They have an event on September 29, 2012, at North Mississippi Regional Park. It's called the Amazing Walk and rather than being a race, it's a family-friendly event with challenge stations to teach kids about exercise and nature. Find out more here!

Have the standards of beauty shifted again?

In Marilyn Monroe's day, curvy was beautiful.
In the 70's, there was a shift. Twiggy and other stick-thin models were beautiful.
Through the 80's and 90's, thin was still beautiful. Models and actresses because the 'ideal' while the rest of the population struggled with body image issues. Dieting, anorexia, bulemia and depression were the sign of these times.
In the early 2000's, people started stepping up to address the issue. Grassroots organizations, with the assistance of the internet, began pushing out materials to speak to the issue. I'm not sure I know anyone who is totally happy with their body, especially the feminine folk. The theme of the 2000's seemed to be healthy is beautiful.

While these are clearly gross generalizations about a nation, they are designed to show how the standards of beauty change with the decades. It's kind of like what color is in. I don't follow fashion, but I'm always hearing that something is the new black. Whatever it is may not last long, but for the time, that's what's popular.

Today, 2012, I believe we may have another shift on our hands. I've been experiencing it for myself in the last year or so, but hadn't realized it or put words to it. But it appeared to me randomly in a news story during the London Olympics. In some sort of article that I didn't read, the headline mentioned this:

Strong is the new beautiful (I think it actually said pretty, but I don't like that word).

Imagine that...strong. Strength, muscular. I often hear women are afraid of looking bulky like men. I have never felt that way. I love the look of a muscular body - plus, women generally can't even get bulky, it's a common misconception about lifting weights. You need testosterone to get bulky, and in much higher doses than women's bodies typically contain. Some women get big, don't get me wrong, but that's not the majority.

As a yogi, I see plenty of strong women (and men)- physically, mentally and emotionally. They are not stick-thin, they are not frail looking, they are not weak; they are strong, powerful, confident and focused. They gain strength through persistance and practice. They cover all age spectrums and abilities.

They are strong.
They are beautiful.

The standards of beauty may not be changing, but with this Olympics, I have seen more coverage speaking to the women athletes being motivators and inspirations to people all over the country (and world). It may not be a national shift, but it's a personal shift for me. Strong is the new beautiful.

The toughest decision I had to make today....

..was what to order at the coffee shop.

As I later thought about this, it was because I don't come to coffee shops much anymore and I wanted to make a good decision. Iced, hot, flavored, not flavored, chai.....regular milk, soy, breve....caffeine, no caffeine, frozen...So many options.  Then I thought, it's just coffee. Just pick something already. I chose a hot chai tea latte made with half-and-half.

So am I happy about my decision?  Sure. It's nothing special - it's a chai. But I'm sure I would've received any other options with similar neutrality. Who knows and why am I even spending the time to think about it?

I think it comes down to the amount of options we have at our fingertips and how, quite frankly, it's often paralyzing. I remember speaking with a client once about his organization, which helps young adults transition to adulthood.  He said many of these young people are simply overwhelmed with their options. Gone are the days of taking over the family business, women staying home to raise the kids, or people staying in jobs for their entire working career. There is simply an endless opportunity of what people can do, and that doesn't necessarily mean a J-O-B. I choose to go outside of this mold and create my own livelihood - many others before me have done the same.

So how do we deal with all these options (from coffee to jobs and everything in between) that are infiltrating us daily? We learn to give up control from time to time and let others choose for us.

Now you must think I'm crazy. If it makes you feel any better, I think I'm crazy too. I was offered this idea by my husband. For as long as I can remember, we sometimes order each others' meals when we go out to eat. Wait staff are always confused and people we are with usually think it's nuts. The idea is two-fold: it gets us out of our comfort zones and forces us to try something we may not have chosen for ourselves and it allows us to give up control for just a moment, and that lessens the stress of making the "right" decision. A couple weeks ago, my husband sent me this TED talk video, which elegantly describes this very idea. The speaker discusses the paradox that counter to what we often think, people are happier with less choices.

I think this may describe why I am awful at parking in big parking lots - I get overwhelmed with the choices and figuring out which one is better. It's just a parking spot. It's just coffee. It's just food. I wonder how much time and energy and unnecessary burden we put on ourselves through these small decisions?

Today, I vow to not get stressed out over my coffee choice. Or my parking spot. I vow to practice giving up the driver's seat from time to time (even though it makes me a little anxious).

What choices do you struggle with? I'm interested in hearing.

What's in a word?

Words change meanings over time, some words never really mean much to some, but a whole lot to others. So what is in a word?  Well, there are consonents, vowels, syntax, context, pronunciation, definition and slang definition. But depending on where you are, these concepts aren't static. We all know about dialect and accents, and love to argue about who is right. As a Minnesotan, I am all too familiar with this conversation. In some other countries, words are spelled based on how they sound. Some people pay attention to literal meanings, others are up-to-date on slang uses and some people just don't know many words. It's all just part of the variety and uniqueness of each of us regarding language.

But this can be problematic. When I say I'm fine, that tells the listener nothing. It just leaves them guessing what I actually mean, and how I use the word "fine" and whether there is something deeper that I am expecting them to understanding. Talk about confusing and unnecessary!  I am equally guilty of this. It's so difficult to say what you actually mean and in language that is clear, simple and comprehensive. Words like good, bad, nice, fine, ok, etc. should just be removed from the English language. While I'm not sure of the feasibility of that or the potential impacts, it's interesting to think about. How would our relationships change? How would our self-expression change?  Would that reverberate and affect our self-esteem or ability to say what we mean to say? Would it help get rid of the deceitfulness or vagueness of language? I don't know the answers, but I can say it would affect my life if I could improve my language usage.

The challenge this week for myself and any of you is to pay attention to speech and how you use language. Be aware that language is just a set of sounds that help describe a situation or event in a way that everyone in the certain group understands. It is not truth. Language is not definite.

So how can you speak more clearly? How can you (I) say what I'm actually intending to say? How can we take some of the suffering and confusion out of relationships?

And, go...

Stick a needle in me: Acupuncture for healing

It took me a mere five minutes on Google Scholar to find research supporting acupuncture as an effective modality to treat:

• Chronic low-back pain
• Migraines
• Tension headache
• Depression
• Irritable bowel syndrome
• Post-operative nausea and vomiting

I believe it. As a migraine sufferer, I whole-heartedly believe it, and my experiences show me that others believe it as well.

Yesterday I had a migraine, and it had been two days. I used to fight through it, miserable the whole time, until finally it subsided on its own. A steady yoga practice, I believe, has reduced the frequency and severity quite dramatically, but every once and awhile, one will strike. I let it go one day and if it's not gone the second, I see my acupuncturist. I go to a community acupuncture clinic with a sliding scale. A visit costs between $15 and $35 per visit - I get to decide how much I'm able to pay. But really, if I can leave an hour later without a headache (and rested from a mid-day nap), it's worth so much more.

Yesterday I showed up at my appointment, in pain and just kind of exhausted. My acupuncturist checked over my records from past visits and there is definitely a theme - same symptoms, same location, same accompanying symptoms (low energy, poor sleep, etc). He checked my pulse and started to put needles in where they needed to go. I won't lie and say you can't feel them - sometimes they hurt, at least at first, but it makes perfect sense to me why.

Our bodies are made up of energy, the space around our bodies is energy (aura), and the entire universe is energy. Got that?! It's hard to describe with words, and even when done successfully, is so far outside of the Western paradigm that it falls on unaccepting ears. All I can speak to is my experience.  I used to not get it. Then I got it. Now I really get it. I used to get shivers, or feel tingly sensations, but I didn't realize those physical sensations were really just the feeling of energy movment within my body. It began to make sense in my yoga practice first, when I'd feel almost cold and shivery, but only on one leg or my head, but no other parts of my body. That's when I thought, well clearly I'm not cold, what is this? Once I tapped into that sensation, I began to just pay attention to it, and in that, my sensitivity has skyrocketed. 

Fast-track back to acupuncture. The tiny needles are inserted into known channels of energy in our bodies. When the needle hits the spot, it triggers movement and when I feel a jolt when the needle goes in, I attribute that sensation to the needles awakening some stagnant energy (which could be causing the blockages and pain in the first place). The pain of the needles doesn't last, and then the fun begins.

As I lay in my recliner, covered neck to toes in blankets, resting in the darkness, listening to the musical selection of the day, I can feel my energy working. Some days it's subtle, like a gentle ebb and flow, like the movement of water. Others it's wild and erratic. I like the wild and erratic because I feel like something is happening. As I lay there, I wonder if everyone else is having an experience similar to mine. I suspect no, since most people aren't tapped into their energies. But maybe they get it- I have no idea. After one particular wild energetic ride, I told my acupuncturist that it was crazy and he smiled and said, "The weirder the better." I think I'm in good company with him.

After an hour of feeling my energy move, and perhaps napping, I wake to the needles being removed.  I then put my shoes on and go about my day. Yesterday I left with no headache, no leftover neck pain, nothing. The fatigue, nausea and sleeplessness was gone too. I felt amazing. I've decided that me random headaches are just a sign that I need an energetic tune-up.  Many people go to acupuncture for specific ailments, which it's great for, but I also think it's a wonderful way to just get everything working properly again - kind of like an oil change for your car.

Now, acupuncture isn't for everyone, but it's worth a try.  It's inexpensive, effective and has very minimal side effects and risks (none for me). I'm always a little surprised when I go and half of the people there are elderly. I often wonder who referred them, and if they understand what's happening, or if they care, and if they are getting better. What I do know is that acupuncture has been around for a very long time, but the research on it is undecided. I asked another acupuncturist about that once and she said, which is true of many holistic practitioners, who cares what's doing it as long as it's working.  She then said that researchers like to consider it nothing more than the placebo effect, but the fact that acupuncture is highly effective on animals, who don't understand placebo, means something.

You decide for yourself!  What do you think about acupuncture?

Rainfall: Natural, Cleansing, Peaceful

It's raining today. Thunder is rumbling in the distance and right now, the rain has temporarily subsided. I can hear the water flowing from the rain gutters out into the grass. I can feel the cool breeze flowing through an opened window. The sound of cars on the road is more moist sounding than usual. Everything about today looks, feels, sounds and smells damp.  It's lovely.

Every time it rains, there are those who whine or complain. It may put a damper on outdoor activities or planned trips to the beach on a summer day. But when I stop to consider the amazing wonder behind a rainfall, I lose any sort of scorn over it. A rainstorm is one of the most obvious ways to see the cycles of nature in action (clearly the circadian rhythms of night and day are more obvious). Water evaporates from bodies of water into the air, where they then become water again and fall from the sky.  While simplified, this circular pattern is Mother Nature at her finest, showing the reciprocal nature of the amazing environment around us.

On a more simple level, I think of rain as cleansing.  Just as I bathe, the Earth must bathe.  Rain is how Mother Earth cleans herself. I always enjoy watching as the plants take on a new luster, a new sense of vitality. I think of rainy days as a time that Mother Earth is taking for herself - it's like taking a personal day to do what you want to do, to rest, to revitalize, to reflect, to be still and calm.

Now, I understand the argument that rainy days often lead people too feel down or sluggish.  I get that; I'm no different. Rather than working right now, I'm tempted to make some tea, grab a blanket and a book and curl up on the couch. I might do that later. But I think this temptation is worth thinking about. When it rains, the animals go into hiding. Birds aren't singing, squirrels aren't running about, and even the people appear to be waiting out the storm. I believe this is part of our nature. Rather than running about and thinking of a storm as an inconvenience to our day, maybe think about the message the rain is sending us. Do you need to take it easy today? Are you in need of more self-care? Is the go-go-go mentality slowly wearing you out, making you lose your luster or vitality? Maybe it's a just a good, cleansing rain you need - mentally, physically, emotionall or spiritually.

How do you react when it rains?

Yoga pose for stress relief: Pascimottanasana

As most, if not all, humans can attest, life can be stressful sometimes.  It could be one small event that triggers the stress response, or a series of events.  Some of us are habitually stressed- perhaps with good reason, but for many, stress is just a way of life and we often just react without considering the acual event to see if stress is even warranted.  In addition, our culture rewards stress.  Everyone talks about how busy they are, how many things they have going on, and almost brag about not having any time for relaxation, reflection and nourishing activities.  "I'll sleep when I'm dead," is a common phrase of our time, and I often think to myself: You'll be dead a lot sooner if you don't sleep, but that's a whole other topic.

Everyone has to come to grips with their own stress, decide if it's worth it, and make changes based on their own desires and circumstances.  We all have different situations, responsibilities, and needs.  For many, however, these situations, responsibilities and needs are taken for granted, or are assumed, so they are never questioned or challenged.  For example, do you really need to lead the girl scout troup (insert any number of groups/organizations/events here) again this year, or is someone else wanting to step up.  Why do you feel the need to do that activity anyway?  Deep down, is it more about social standing or the feeling that you are expected to do it?  These are important things to consider.  You may not have the answers, you may not even want to think about the answer...and that's ok.  It's your life, you have the tools to assess these sorts of things if and when you want to.   Sometimes taking a moment to assess our motivations can reveal powerful truths about our existence and the lives we are choosing to live.  Is there a way to reduce stress in our everyday lives?  That is the root of the question here.  While many of the activities already discussed come from turning inward to make outward changes or reducing the areas of life that contribute to stress, there are also many healing modalities that help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, or the area responsible for lowered heart rate, increased digestion, and the feelings of rest and relaxation.  One such modality is yoga.  Certain yoga postures, or asanas, activate the parasympathetic nervous system and with practice, can help the practitioner find feelings of peacefulness, calm and relaxation, in addition to physiological responses, such as breathing more slowly, reduced heart rate, decreased muscle tension and less pain.

One pose that is especially helpful for lowering stress and the associated effects is Paschimottanasana, a seated forward fold.  Begin seated, with your legs extended straight out in front of you.  Your feet should be about hip-bone distance apart, or one fist should fit between your knees.  Actively engage your legs, pressing into the floor with your upper legs (hamstrings) and pulling your toes back toward your torso.  Pull back equally through your big toe and pinky toe side.  Be sure you are sitting on your sitting bones, with your pelvis slightly tipping forward.  Think about it as if you are almost pointing your tailbone behind you.  It may be helpful to tip side-to-side and pull some of the flesh from your bum out and back so that you can feel your sitting bones.  Now, on a slow, conscious inhale, raise your arms up overhead, getting length through your entire spine.   Exhale slowly fold forward, hinging at the hips and keeping a flat back reaching your fingertips and collarbones toward your toes.  If you can comfortably reach your toes, hold on there and gently deepen the stretch.  Be careful not to grab and pull or introduce any tension in your body.  If you can't reach your toes, reach as far as you can, then drop your hands to your thighs, shins or the floor outside of your legs.  Take another inhale to lengthen your spine, then exhale and allow your head to rest comfortably, slightely rounding your upper back, but continuing to reach your collarbones toward your toes.  Attempt to hold the pose with comfort and ease, although you are keeping your legs active and potentially feeling an intense stretch throughout your entire backside.  Be sure to keep your legs straight, your spine long and most, most importantly, continue to breathe.  Feel your body move slightly as you inhale and exhale to deepen the pose.  Stay here for several breaths to several minutes, whatever your body is telling you to do.

Any alignment questions, let me know.  Good luck and I hope you can find some peace and relaxation through this posture.

Namaste.

Authenticity

I often see this blog bookmarked in my selection of bookmarks, but I glance right over it.  I don't have anything pressing to write about- at that time.  However, when I'm not near a digital device, or when I don't quite have the idea developed, those are the times I think, "I should write about this."   Once synchronity occurs, you'll be seeing more from me.  But for today, this very topic makes me think of authenticity.  Deeply desired and appreciated by many (most), and underutilized is this idea of being authentic.  My studies in yoga and Eastern spirituality point to this topic daily, maybe even hourly.  It's such a part of the fabric of spiritual practices that I don't think it's really talked about much, just assumed.  Assumed that we get it, and assumed that we understand how it fits into the scheme.  But it's not that easy for humans, having this human experience with this human minds and living in the West with all the external stimuli bombarding us.  Some days I don't even know what authentic is anymore, like was that my idea?  Where did I get that?  Or my very favorite, how long have I been holding that view/value that I really don't even agree with!? 

Have I lost you yet?  I've lost myself.  Ironic.  In the effort to identify myself, to live authentically in every moment, I've lost myself to my mind.  Silly mind- always getting the way.

Until next time (hopefully a more inspired next time), let's challenge each other to be more authentic, but authentically authentic (without letting your mind get involved or trying too hard or being less yourself in the effort to be authentic). 

At first it sounded easy, I just have to be myself!  Not easy....but the outcomes are far more rewarding, in my opinion.

Be well.

Purchase Challenge Update

It's been 15 days.  I have spent $15 on things that didn't fit the criteria.  Overall, I'm satisfied with this.  I was thinking more about it and the goal isn't to restrict things (which, like dieting, often isn't sustainable), the goal is to be aware of what I'm buying and most importantly, WHY I'm buying it.  Impulse and the desire to fit in are probably common reasons why we buy things we don't need and those are the very things my spiritual practice aims to limit through awareness.

The one thing I bought was a pair of jeans.  I should add...I haven't purchased a pair of jeans in years.  Literally, years.  I think it was 2007, and I still have and wear those same jeans.  One pair recently gave out in the crotch, so I was in the market for a new casual pair.  TJ Max got me with the $15 clearance pair that fit.  Sold.  It was partial impulse, I admit that.  But so far, I am paying more attention to what I am buying, if it's really necessary, if it's the best choice, if it's at a place I want to support with my money, and if it's a conscious decision to purchase in the first place.  And the best part is, I am no less happy (remember, we know that things don't make us happy) and don't feel one bit confined.  I feel, actually, a lot more free.  And that is a beautiful thing!

Is anyone else thinking more about their purchases?  If so, any insights?